Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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