I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dignity is for republicans.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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