it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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