made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
