i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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