she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
