Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Too much gin, very little bucket
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Sorry about my life...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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