Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
