I'm really into asian looking animals
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize