i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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