No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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