Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You've changed since you got that strap on
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
