3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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