Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
