Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
