like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
