The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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