I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
