So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
