I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
