Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize