Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im six kinds of drunk right now
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
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and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
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If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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