went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
