I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
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The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
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We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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