Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
