I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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