It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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