I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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