i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
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Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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