C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
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