we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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