friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
