No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
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he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
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He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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