I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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