my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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