When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize