Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
did i walk over a car last night?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
