I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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