I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
