fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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