The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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