i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
