how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I am morally bankrupt
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
