$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
