I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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