I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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