have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
