I'm lost and stupid without you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
