Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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