just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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