Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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