so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize