the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Bring me that man meat
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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