Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
