i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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